Uh... awkward moment...

We visit LK's birth dad oh, once or twice a year or so. Whenever he gets out of jail or treatment. It's been about a year. I know cuz the last time we saw him, we brought a baseball, bat and gloves to a park and watched them play a little baseball. So he called a few weeks ago saying he was out of jail and going into treatment. Then a couple of weeks ago he called saying he could start having visitors. Next thing I know, he's living at his sister's house, which means he left the treatment facility.

Fortunately, LK's old enough to actually talk on the phone with him now, which is easier than telling him she didn't want to talk to him like I had to do when she was a toddler and didn't want to talk to anyone on the phone, let alone him. I envision more of that reluctance in future years, but we're not there yet.

We are happy to see him, and LK knows when a visit is scheduled. Our visits are fine - no conflict, lots of play, lots of compliments to her, lots of catching him up on pictures, activities and so on. Then we say goodbye, figuring we'll see him once or twice and then not at all for another year or so.

So here's the situation - this whole weekend, LK's been touchy, pouty and prone to sulkiness. She does this now and then, and gets her feelings hurt easily. She doesn't stand up for herself much and just kinds of shuts down. Her teacher is working on this with us. LK also misreads situations frequently and takes offense when there was really no sign of any. But she actually sat out an inning of her game this weekend to pout because someone sat next to someone else. Then when she went back in, she made two outs, pouting all the while. It's like she dissolves into this puddle of mush that is somehow weirdly functional. It seemed more pronounced this time than usual.

What seems to be the key difference here? Maybe the scheduled visit? Does it weigh on her mind when she knows we're going to see him? Is that the X factor that makes her so fragile at times? Seems likely - or is that just me trying to assign a logical reason to something that might just be a typical little 1st grader grumpiness?

So what to do? I don't want to avoid the visits - I think in the long run, it's better for her to know that he wanted to maintain contact - at least in whatever way he can. And that we were always open to that. But I hate like heck to see her fall apart so easily.

There's always this awkward moment at the end of our visit when we say goodbye and he gives her a kiss. We all know he expects one from her too, but she's so not there. He gets a little half hearted hug, but that's about all. Sigh...
I guess awkward moments are a given, and so are the labile, fragile occasional weekends. At least for a while.

btw - the visit was fine, she beat him at air hockey and we ate pretty crappy pizza and ended up with about 17 bouncy balls. Oh, and the awkward moment when he gave her a kiss and then said, "Where's mine?". After the halfhearted hug he got instead, we were off to see "Earth" with her Brownie troop, where she sulked for about an hour before perking up and having fun with a friend who stuck it out with her. What a weekend.

At least we got to see Baby G on Saturday! Check out the preshus feets... and face...

Who's the Boss?

I am.
:-)

Blog again... I'm bored

That was the text message I got a day or two ago from BK.
Nevermind that he is in college, with no lack of homework or studying to do. But I do remember the days. I did many things to avoid my books back then. My sister (I lived in a room attached to their house for most of my freshman year. My parents didn't exactly trust me in a dorm, but that's another post for another day.) always knew when it was finals time because there would be fresh baked cookies or brownies in the kitchen. I know all about procrastination.
Speaking of cookies...







Easter was quietly nice. Lunasea and family came over and no one ended up looking like a monkey or a saloon trollop. There was a little consternation about the fact that the boys fully intended to leave with the eggs they found in the easter egg hunt LK helped me set up for them. I guess she forgot to tell them the rules of engagment - that the cereal was theirs to keep, but she wanted the eggs back. Oh, and some of the candy too. But it took her about 30 seconds to realize we still had a lot of candy, so it was really just fine. I was proud of her for that.
Speaking of Easter...














DH is so excited that his new found passion for hockey has paid off! Finally one of his teams does good. The Sharks win the President's Cup - not with the win he'd hoped for to end the season, but they set themselves up in a position where that wasn't necessary, and that was almost as sweet.
Oh, did I say hockey?

(these two will be one of the longest standing couples in HS in a few years)

So what to do when bored? I'm betting he won't ask me to blog again for a while. But it was pretty fun to reminisce a little, at his expense perhaps, but it's still fun.

So, BK - I can think of things you might do - go kick a soccer ball around!













Do some handstands!

Or maybe just take a nap...













Love you!

I want one of these

what to do...what to do...

So we're thinking here - my project is stalled in a "capital freeze", DH's job is definitely considered tenuous in this economy. This might be the time to make the big jump. DH thinks maybe Montana. I think Pacific NW would be ok cuz we have family there and Lil Sis will probably end up there someday anyway. Just don't know if I can handle the rain... Either place, we could get a very nice pad for what our house will still go for here.
So whaddaya think? Any suggestions or advice?