Uh... awkward moment...

We visit LK's birth dad oh, once or twice a year or so. Whenever he gets out of jail or treatment. It's been about a year. I know cuz the last time we saw him, we brought a baseball, bat and gloves to a park and watched them play a little baseball. So he called a few weeks ago saying he was out of jail and going into treatment. Then a couple of weeks ago he called saying he could start having visitors. Next thing I know, he's living at his sister's house, which means he left the treatment facility.

Fortunately, LK's old enough to actually talk on the phone with him now, which is easier than telling him she didn't want to talk to him like I had to do when she was a toddler and didn't want to talk to anyone on the phone, let alone him. I envision more of that reluctance in future years, but we're not there yet.

We are happy to see him, and LK knows when a visit is scheduled. Our visits are fine - no conflict, lots of play, lots of compliments to her, lots of catching him up on pictures, activities and so on. Then we say goodbye, figuring we'll see him once or twice and then not at all for another year or so.

So here's the situation - this whole weekend, LK's been touchy, pouty and prone to sulkiness. She does this now and then, and gets her feelings hurt easily. She doesn't stand up for herself much and just kinds of shuts down. Her teacher is working on this with us. LK also misreads situations frequently and takes offense when there was really no sign of any. But she actually sat out an inning of her game this weekend to pout because someone sat next to someone else. Then when she went back in, she made two outs, pouting all the while. It's like she dissolves into this puddle of mush that is somehow weirdly functional. It seemed more pronounced this time than usual.

What seems to be the key difference here? Maybe the scheduled visit? Does it weigh on her mind when she knows we're going to see him? Is that the X factor that makes her so fragile at times? Seems likely - or is that just me trying to assign a logical reason to something that might just be a typical little 1st grader grumpiness?

So what to do? I don't want to avoid the visits - I think in the long run, it's better for her to know that he wanted to maintain contact - at least in whatever way he can. And that we were always open to that. But I hate like heck to see her fall apart so easily.

There's always this awkward moment at the end of our visit when we say goodbye and he gives her a kiss. We all know he expects one from her too, but she's so not there. He gets a little half hearted hug, but that's about all. Sigh...
I guess awkward moments are a given, and so are the labile, fragile occasional weekends. At least for a while.

btw - the visit was fine, she beat him at air hockey and we ate pretty crappy pizza and ended up with about 17 bouncy balls. Oh, and the awkward moment when he gave her a kiss and then said, "Where's mine?". After the halfhearted hug he got instead, we were off to see "Earth" with her Brownie troop, where she sulked for about an hour before perking up and having fun with a friend who stuck it out with her. What a weekend.

At least we got to see Baby G on Saturday! Check out the preshus feets... and face...

Who's the Boss?

I am.
:-)

Blog again... I'm bored

That was the text message I got a day or two ago from BK.
Nevermind that he is in college, with no lack of homework or studying to do. But I do remember the days. I did many things to avoid my books back then. My sister (I lived in a room attached to their house for most of my freshman year. My parents didn't exactly trust me in a dorm, but that's another post for another day.) always knew when it was finals time because there would be fresh baked cookies or brownies in the kitchen. I know all about procrastination.
Speaking of cookies...







Easter was quietly nice. Lunasea and family came over and no one ended up looking like a monkey or a saloon trollop. There was a little consternation about the fact that the boys fully intended to leave with the eggs they found in the easter egg hunt LK helped me set up for them. I guess she forgot to tell them the rules of engagment - that the cereal was theirs to keep, but she wanted the eggs back. Oh, and some of the candy too. But it took her about 30 seconds to realize we still had a lot of candy, so it was really just fine. I was proud of her for that.
Speaking of Easter...














DH is so excited that his new found passion for hockey has paid off! Finally one of his teams does good. The Sharks win the President's Cup - not with the win he'd hoped for to end the season, but they set themselves up in a position where that wasn't necessary, and that was almost as sweet.
Oh, did I say hockey?

(these two will be one of the longest standing couples in HS in a few years)

So what to do when bored? I'm betting he won't ask me to blog again for a while. But it was pretty fun to reminisce a little, at his expense perhaps, but it's still fun.

So, BK - I can think of things you might do - go kick a soccer ball around!













Do some handstands!

Or maybe just take a nap...













Love you!

I want one of these

what to do...what to do...

So we're thinking here - my project is stalled in a "capital freeze", DH's job is definitely considered tenuous in this economy. This might be the time to make the big jump. DH thinks maybe Montana. I think Pacific NW would be ok cuz we have family there and Lil Sis will probably end up there someday anyway. Just don't know if I can handle the rain... Either place, we could get a very nice pad for what our house will still go for here.
So whaddaya think? Any suggestions or advice?

Freakin' Hilarious

Gay Scientists have located the Christian gene.
Take a look:


(stolen from a friend I am so excited to have heard from again!)

Confounded

Main Entry: con·found·ed
Pronunciation: [kon-foun-did, kuhn-] \kən-ˈfau̇n-dəd, (ˌ)kän-ˈ, ˈkän-ˌ\
Function: adjective
Date: 14th century
1 : confused , perplexed
2 : damned
— con·found·ed·ly adverb

Synonyms
befuddled
bewildered
disconcerted
perplexed


What a great word.

I have too much to blog!

M&M are moving out of their apartment. I took G. for them while they cleaned and got a decent night's sleep. Then I went with M. to have pictures taken of little G. on Sunday. The first picture was the only one where he really smiled. But that one picture was totally worth it. The boys were moving the last of the stuff to storage, but were able to meet up with us by the time we were picking out the package, and that was fun too.

Apparently LK thought that whole process was fun, so she created a photo shoot of her own, using our semi-adopted dog, Zen. What a trooper that dog is. I posted the full album on facebook, but just imagine every type of sporting equipment we might have and then a little more and you have the idea of the photo shoot. Great idea!

And then, last night LK decided to make dinner for us. She made nachos, warmed up leftover pizza and we were not to touch these buns until we were completely done.




When we were really really done, this is what we got inside the buns:




Gotta love it.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Facebook

"During the last 24 hours you were compared 3 times. You won in 1 of them." (That's supposed to make me feel good?)

"Check here against whom you won in 'who is a better public speaker'. 2 hours ago" (Oh good. I'm a better public speaker than somebody else. Why do I feel like such a dork?)

"NOTE: Check your NEW ranking!8:08pm" (I just can't figure out what's in it for anyone.)

"Someone voted for you!9:16am" (And I STILL don't know what for.)

In the last few months since I opened my facebook account, I've found myself drawn to it often. All my nieces and nephews have kindly agreed to be my friends and we joke back and forth now and then. I feel more in touch with them. My own children have also agreed to be my friend which means I get to keep in touch with them in a more fun way than I would otherwise. I've connected with an old high school friend or two (and I do mean OLD!!) and even have parents of LK's friends on my list. I get reminded of birthdays. And I get the right days for birthdays too! I get to see pictures of trips, parties, babies and other cool stuff. And I have to say, when I've got a scrabble game or even sudoku (DDD whups my ass on this every time, even though I consider myself a pretty fair sudoku player), I look forward to signing on at least once a day to keep the game going.

But I hate the stupid little notifications for things that if you bite, you have to load and then you get something stupid in return. Like when you "poke" someone. Just dumb. This whole voting thing. I never win popularity contests. Never have, never will. People seem to like me - they just don't vote for me (despite the vote above that if I wanted to find out what it was for I'd have to load some stupid program that would make me feel bad because I got one vote and all my other friends got 537 votes). These things are just meant to make me feel bad. No thanks.

So I enjoy FB for many reasons and determine to ignore the chain letters, stupid notifications for stupid things and anything that won't make me smile. Anyone for a game of Scrabble?

How old am I again?

All this birthday and holiday talk.
I have to remember how old I am again.

I have a confession:

I have a crush. Maybe it's a mommy crush. Nothin' romantic about it - I just think this kid is SO FREAKIN CUTE! I love his Disney movies - I even watch the HSM movies willingly because HELLO - Corbin BLEU!!!

And now I find out he will be doing a little mini-concert after the High School Musical on Ice show THAT I ALREADY HAVE TICKETS TO!!!!!




OMG!!! Best keep me a few rows back and chair nearby so I won't hurt anyone when I faint.

Another celebration. Why not?

Today is Adoption day, otherwise known as "Gotcha" day.

I decided now that LK is starting to understand and even talk about being adopted, I wanted to start a new tradition with her where we would go and have a fancy lunch on adoption day. With tablecloths and dressing up and all that high-falutin'-ness. Something we just don't do much of at all... I would pick her up at school at lunch time and we'd take BART into the city and go to some fancy schmancy place. Just us. And maybe DH if he could.

Here's one side of the conversation:

"We're gonna do WHAT?"

"Why again?"

"You know, sometimes I like hamburgers."

"How about we don't go to OUR Taco Bell - how about we go to one that's far away?"

"I like that place where they give you balls of dough and they have that machine." (El Machino at Chevy's fine and fancy Tex Mex...)

"But I want to go play with my friends."

"I NEVER get to play with my friends."

"I think I don't want to go somewhere where we have to get on a freeway."

"I already had lunch."


We settled on the cafe at our nearby Nordstrom's. Not exactly tablecloths, but maybe we'll work up to that.

Another place I loved, but didn't help stay in business

I always hate it when I really love a store, but it's not on the beaten path for me, so I just don't visit it as often as I'd like. And then they go out of business. I feel like it's my personal fault for not going out of my way to patronize them.
I'm sorry I didn't do more to keep you in business, Elephant Pharmacy - you were awesome.

And the Birthday Season Ends

There are plenty of family birthdays throughout the year, but mid November - mid February are so particularly painful joyful as they encompass every one of my immediate-immediate family birthdays and Christmas (and nearly all the plain old immediate ones too) that once LK has her birthday in mid February I am completely birthday'd out. You should see my calendar - it's ridiculous.

It used to be that I could sort of relax in early January, since the only immediate family birthday to plan any kind of celebration for was my own, but with the addition of LK, I must carry on with my primary birthday celebrator duties until today. I don't really mind, because I truly love birthdays, but I get pretty wiped out. Just not as young as I used to be, I guess.

So today is LK's 7th birthday. She would celebrate by riding her brand new gorgeous bike (one that actually fits her) around the neighborhood if it weren't raining cats and dogs outside. Can't complain, because we need the rain badly, but it does make the excitement of a new bike dim just a bit. But we've got some family and friends coming over to have some pizza with us this evening, and she's invited her beloved teacher, so she's one happy birthday girl.

Enjoy your special day, not-so-little one. I love watching you grow up. I love the tenderness you show your nephew, even if his parents get a little uncomfortable by it. I love that you continue to develop a relationship with your biological siblings, and that you cherish it. I love that you love your other big brothers and sister more than just about anything in the whole wide world. I love the happiness in your face when you see them after a long time apart. I don't always love the resistance and stubborness you show me frequently, but I understand that both of those qualities will be important for you in coming years. I love watching you play soccer and other sports that you love. I love the snuggles when we read stories or watch a movie together. And most of all, I love you.

Happy Birthday.

More Inventive Kidness

 
Found this morning:
One travel pillow performing baby doll "boppy" duties.

Another mondegreen

Submitted by our 10 year old neighbor:


Improving on perfection - that's what that is...
although, I always thought we were singing to Jose.
"Jose, can you see by the dawn's surly light?" and
"...Jose, does that star spangled banner yet wave?"

Shown up by a 10 year old.

Again.

How I know I'm exhausted.

- I drove by 2640 College Ave and went at least a mile past it before I knew I'd gone too far.
- I was sitting next to a neighbor and friend of mine at a show today and could not come up with her name.
- I had to back up my audiobook several times because I kept losing my concentration.
- No interest in cake or anything else with an ounce of sugar.
- No interest in food of any kind.
- one word: Crankypants.
- Can't sleep.

It's aggravating.

That's Weird

So about a week ago, I had a birthday. It was a lovely day, nice sunny weather, not too cold... I had my choice of what to do for the day so we went out to Half Moon Bay to see the waves. Hoped to see some surfers too, but while the waves looked plenty big to me, they weren't nearly big enough, I guess. It was a possible "Mavericks" weekend, but again, not quite big enough waves, so no Mavericks. That was good for us, since the traffic is nuts when the surfers are there.

I talked to my in-laws, got a message from my big sis and dad and talked to 3/4 of my children (the 1/4 is in the doghouse for a while). AND I had a great birthday dinner cooked by my baby sis, Lunasea. None of that was weird at all.

I also was served breakfast in bed, which in previous years was reserved for Mother's Day alone. With breakfast, I got a couple of birthday cards. A very nice one from LK and this one from DH. He actually bought it before my birthday, which was pretty amazing in itself. He liked the sentiment. The print is pretty small in the picture, so let me tell you what it says.

"I love the days when we never get around to shoes..."
the inside reads, "...when all we get around to is us." Happy Anniversary

So he crosses out the Anniversary part and prints "Birthday" above it. Very proud of himself for picking it for the sentiment and molding it to the occasion.

LK looks at the picture and says, "That's weird."
DH: "Why?"
LK: "They're both girls"
DH: "Hunh?"
LK: "Look."
DH: "Uh Oh."

So I got a lesbian anniversary card for my birthday. How many of you can say that?
I know. I am special.

Martin and Me

A piece of schoolwork came home last night with LK. A comparison of MLK and her. It had the typical stuff, name, birthday, hometown, brothers and sisters, favorite games. Stuff like that. But what I liked most was the "Dream for the Future" section. MLK's was "Fairness for all". LK's was "Pick up gorbich".

Dream big, little one.

In twenty years or so, when you see her driving one of those big green or blue trucks around or hoisting cans on her back, give her a wave, OK?

One Concern or maybe One Reaction

Such a momentous occasion. I have a concern though.

There is such a focus on the African American aspect of this inauguration. And while I don't disagree with that fact and that we are breaking new ground and we've come a long way and all that, I keep seeing the comments from the "guys on the street" saying how proud they are to be an African American. That they never thought they'd live to see the day...

I think that's fabulous, and it's great to have that kind of pride after all these years. And I love it that little kids see that the sky's the limit - they really can do or be anything they strive for and their skin color doesn't need to be a barrier, but it feels a little funny to me. I'm an American. I don't consider myself a white or caucasian American, and I'm extremely proud today, but it feels less progressive to me that the focus is so much on the race of the president and the race of the celebrants. I believe we haven't come as far as we might think. We elected the best and the brightest candidate. I did not care what color s/he came in when I cast my vote. Clearly some did, but with the numbers involved in this election, plenty of people cast their vote as I did.

When we can say we are proud to be Americans. Collectively. Without reference to background or color... THEN we will have come a long way.






Photo credit according to SFGate.com: Getty Images/Mark Wilson

Cougars

Hadn't heard the term used quite this way before. Cougars. But apparently it's been around a while and has quite a following.

Turns out if you google it there are clubs and Cougars and Cubs websites and lots of other stuff. Most of the pictures are Ashton and Demi, natch, but there are lots of other celebrity examples and non celebrity too, natch.


To each his or her own, of course, and I guess it's clear what my preference is, but can anyone else say "Ewwwww"?