Election Day Madness

This is a real conversation this morning.

7:00 am ON THE DOT. ....rrriiinnnngggg...

me: "Hello."

MIL: "Are you up? I knew you would be."

me: "Oh Hi - yeah, I just took K to his early morning cross country practice. I'm still awake - sort of. "

MIL: "I remember he did that. I just wanted to make sure you read your email before you go vote. J (niece) just sent you both something that you have to see. I want to make sure when you vote, you vote the right way."

me: (growing curious and just a bit amazed - we're both 50, afterall...) "Oh?"

MIL: "You know, we can't have that monster in office - you know which one I mean... "

me: (fully awake now) "I hope you mean Bush."

MIL: "NO! Of course not - Kerry! You know what he did in Vietnam? And those things with Jane Fonda!? "

me: (ignoring the Fonda remark - I know better) "You DON'T mean the monster who ignored the rest of the world's advice and invaded a country? Not that monster?"

MIL: "Well, that doesn't matter. Doesn't anyone remember 9/11 anymore? Are 'people's" memories so short? Don't "they" remember Vietnam?" (my quotes - I know who she was referring to...)

me: "hmmmm." (I try to be the master of tact with my in-laws, and have a raw tongue from time to time to prove it) "But if you remember Vietnam and Jane Fonda, you surely MUST remember that the United Nations - that collection of people from countries all around the world, advised strongly against invading Iraq, saying there wasn't really enough evidence, and Bush did it anyway? That was only a year or so ago... "

MIL: "Well, anyway," (she's done with this liberal commie pinko) "I just wanted you to see that email, it's very interesting. "

me: "ok. I'll go see if S is awake. "

later that very same phone call.....

S did wake up to get the advice his mother needed to give her 50 year old son.... along with some other choice information. This is all second hand, but amazing nonetheless.

Did you know:

* that Kerry is a monster? (That was well documented in conversation above)

* that Teresa is Cruella deVille (still chuckling hours later about that one)

* that Kerry did something with Jane Fonda, Abby Hoffman and some Chicago 7 guy? Apparently, they were "thick as thieves!"

* that S's Uncle Al who is a "yellow dog democrat" (whatever that is...), wouldn't vote for that slime - he's a monster, you know...

* that Kerry went before a commission of some kind and said that some Americans were doing things that were against the Geneva convention back there in Vietnam?

sigh. These are real people, casting real votes. If the Cruella deVille thing wasn't so damn funny, I'd cry.