LK warms up...eventually

I know you're all bursting at the seams wondering how the first visit with LK's biological father in two years went.

It was fine.

First impressions: This was the first time I'd seen him in non-grunge clothes. He wore khakis, a casual type of dress shirt (no tie, or I'd have seriously wondered what was going on) and black shoes that, while they weren't dress shoes, they were not brand new pimpy sneakers either. I used to marvel at how often he'd replace his sneakers. Having to buy shoes for 2 full & almost full size boys at the time, I knew what that costs. His shirt was not tucked in. That would have been along the lines of the tie, I think.

LK hung back, as predicted. She hadn't wanted to go, but rewards are wonderful things when you're 4. Once we got to the house, she grabbed my hand and would. not. let. go. Bio dad he did try to take her hand once and she high-tailed it back to us, so he smartly took the hint. We got a tour of the common rooms and then the backyard. They have a couple of chickens back there and a place to smoke (we stayed away from it).

She eventually warmed up and decided he could be trusted and we were not going anywhere without her, so they did some exploring of the weeds and bark back there for a while before going back in to play ping pong. She ran him around really well while we watched and cheered them on. They played with some Lincoln Logs and marbles before we called it a day. By then she conceded to have their picture taken with a smile on her face as well as his. All in all, a successful visit.

His first impression: that she looks a lot like her big sister. I brought pictures of the three of them at recent birthday parties and that was hard for him. But he says he's very grateful he can still see her, and that he's probably not ready to even attempt to see her siblings yet. He also says that he realizes now that he wasn't ready to give up his lifestyle back during all our court experiences, and that the kids were taken away for a reason. I hope he gets his life on track, and it stays there. It's a hard world out there for someone with his record.

Did we discuss the relationship here? Not really - she didn't ask anything. I signed in as "family", although that felt odd. Several of his housemates (this place houses up to 40 guys at a time) asked if she was his daughter, to which he answered "yes". That's probably the best way to handle it anyway for a 4 year old. There will be a time when she wonders how she can be our daughter AND his daughter, but she's not there yet.

And then we went to the Jungle.

Promises must be kept. Posted by Picasa


Lunasea said...

Awww - sweet pic. So he's in some sort of transitional housing? I'm glad it went fine.

Beastarzmom said...

Yes, he's in a rehab facility, at the end of his 90 day program. He wants to extend it and stay another 90 days. He's on "job search" right now.